We need to be like water. When water comes across a stone, it doesn't stop and wonder "should I go back? should I go forward? should I stay here?" It simply continues on its way in one fluid motion. Water is powerful, water is calm. It can be anything... we can be anything.
an excerpt from my journal mid-september-ish, shortly after a trip to Viareggio (a nearby beach) ** addressed to no one & everyone in specific.
i want to feel alive like this song, each pulse and my heart lifts, lifts until it reaches the point where it feels like it's going to burst but instead you sing & the song just comes out, breathing disappears between the notes and surfaces like your lungs gasping for air in the sea, the breeze feels colder on your wet face, your hair clings to your body and you are facing the sun, a perfect path illuminated and dancing on the water's surface, only broken by our bodies, chests rising and falling, a foot peeking out, toes wiggling, the water tickles and pulls and shimmers into every pore of your skin, the sunlight melts, you become the sun and the water and the waves and the breaths, gasps, you are alive
You are alive & you are perfect.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Dear Tanzania
Dear Tanzania,
I miss you every day. There has not been a single day (I do not exaggerate this point!) where I have not mentioned you out loud. . . Whether it's a Swahili word or phrase, a memory of a person, a whispered "pole pole" to myself. . . you remain in my thoughts, my mind, my heart, my very being. I still listen to the songs. "Nimechoka" -- beep! beep! "La Vie en Rose" as sung by Humphrey, Angel, Munira, Winifrida, and so many more!
And just the other day, we had a toga-themed birthday celebration. I wasn't going to partake in the dressing up until someone threw my kitenge (which has been playing with the wind on our balcony for the past month) in my direction and that little lightbulb popped up over my head. "OF COURSE!" I thought. And that was the first time I actually used my kitenge for its common purpose -- clothing!
I felt so alive and full of energy wearing the sun and the water on my body. . .
Haraka haraka haina baracka. (HASTE HASTE HAS NO BLESSING) I still repeat it to myself. Those words have burrowed their way through my skin, into my heart, the blood in my veins. When you slow down, not only does breathing become easier, but you can start to focus on it...
And! The beautiful thing is that
I am breathing,
YOU are breathing,
She is breathing,
He is breathing,
Animals are breathing,
Fish are breathing,
The tree is breathing,
The birds are breathing,
The sky, wind, water, fire, sun, stars, moons, pebbles, grass, .. . . . . .
WE ARE ALL BREATHING.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
BLUE . YELLOW . RED
This is "Filo." It's what my painting professor Lorenzo Pezzatini does. This is his art. Covering filo (thread) with paint, touching paint to paint, recognizing paint as matter and creating something extremely tactile that can be approached by the viewer in so many more ways that just standing in front of a canvas. The above photo is just an extremely close up shot of a thread which could be 100s of meters long. . . You begin to realize that each little "spike" is unique. He only uses the primary colors : blue , yellow , & red (always in that order). To hold it in my hands was a little joy, like a bunch of happiness tickling my skin... you'd have to feel it in your own hands to understand.
THE STORY BEHIND THE SHOES: I was given these old shoes just last weekend. I picked them out of a box of about 10 pairs. They once belonged to a woman who bought them in a vintage shop in Los Angeles...what a small world! This happened within just 3 days of me learning what "FILO" was. . . I didn't choose them because of Filo, but because they were one of the only pairs that fit me. I wore them to class the next Monday and needless to say, Lorenzo noticed immediately!! !
The more I live, the more I'm convinced that
nothing happens by coincidence.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
just sitting
I was just sitting on a random street curb with two dear friends, looking at my photography binder and showing contact sheets, prints, negatives, test strips. . . it's funny how I didn't even think anything of it at first. It just seemed ... so natural. Sitting on the street. Black and white photographs printed with my own two hands. Night sky above. Red yellow blue shoes. Breathing.
I promise to share some soon.
I promise to share some soon.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Family ** 家族
I just got an email from my brother!!!!!!
And just a couple days ago, I found out that my cousin and his wife will be coming here!!! I will see FAMILY! It was honestly such a huge surprise and happy feeling when I heard! There are so many of you, and I love you all!!
So many exclamation points...They are necessary to express my happiness!
No matter where I go, you guys stay with me. All of you.
Right here ** Close to my heart.
You guys and everyone before us. You are all part of
And just a couple days ago, I found out that my cousin and his wife will be coming here!!! I will see FAMILY! It was honestly such a huge surprise and happy feeling when I heard! There are so many of you, and I love you all!!
So many exclamation points...They are necessary to express my happiness!
No matter where I go, you guys stay with me. All of you.
Right here ** Close to my heart.
You guys and everyone before us. You are all part of
where I come from.
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